Hello everyone! I must admit, the news was right. During last nights change in daylight savings time I ended up forgetting to reset some of my clocks, due to this oversight I stayed at work an extra hour and will most likely be going to bed later than usual for the next few days.  

I can’t complain, although my usage of electricity is sporadic and nocturnal so I don’t think I’m saving much electricity. I have been conscientious of my power consumption ever since I moved into an apartment so daylight savings time doesn’t help much. I wish to save money by avoiding the use of electronics. I keep playing my xbox though, which consumes a healthy amount of electricity. I hope to remedy that problem and build a bicycle that generates power and hook the converter up to the xbox so I get a workout playing my xbox, almost like a Wii. Apparently sarcasm knows no bounds.

I promised a personal blog, so I figure I might as well deliver on that promise. Now I know I don’t have that many faithful readers. There is someone who might be reading these very soon. So in a way this is going to be partially addressed to her.

I had talked to my ex girlfriend tonight. I can say with a great deal of hesitation that every time I talk to her I get nervous. Our relationship has some serious history. I ponder greatly on the things she tells me about her life. I told her I was afraid of her, that I am afraid to come see her for fear of the past. I wonder why I am so particular and cautious about everything I do. It’s almost a part of my inherent characteristic psyche to prepare for any potential outcome with regards to any large step I take in life.

About halfway into the conversation I had asked her to profile me. In doing so I hoped to garnish how she perceived me as a person for illustrative purposes. It was interesting to hear that she would have described me the way I would have described myself. The reason I was so intrigued by this notion was simply because our prior conversations usually centered on less “safe for work” commentary. So in a way it was refreshing to see that she wasn’t the crazy party girl she might have been misconstrued as by yours truly. She is very intelligent and quick. When I make a joke she picks it up effortlessly. Which, I find endearing beyond recognition.

I loved her very dearly a long time ago it seems. When we broke up I became cold and bitter. I found a certain truth though, that you’re not truly happy unless you’re happy with yourself. It’s rather hard to focus your energy on others if you are not content with your life. I figure that a lot of young adult parents go through this sort of thing when they have a child. I also became rather methodical, rational and precise during this time. Maybe it’s because I am a guy but I only get the urge to cry when there is great relief in achievement and triumph. I haven’t actually cried in 7 years.

I am planning on going to see her, to see where our friendship is headed. Maybe well stay friends maybe things will be different this time around. I can’t tell anyone for certain, but I can sure plan for any eventuality right? It must be my cautious nature to plan. I am doing it in my head right now…